Age is just a number.

Do you act your age ?

Age : A Number, Not a Finish Line

Is age just a number ?

When we think about success it is often measured against our age. If we have done x by y age, we may be perceived as successful.

The typical age vs milestone timeline goes like this …

By 18 you should be done with your high school.
Add another 4 years for higher studies. And you are 22 now.
Then you’ll most likely get a job at around 23.
Reach some level of financial stability around 30.
Get married to a suitable person around 25-30 (if you’re lucky).
30s & 40s may pass chasing career & looking after your family (and paying the home loan).
By 50s you’ll most likely be looking towards your retirement.
And spend the rest of your life with family, friends & old hobbies.

Doesn’t sound so bad.

Deviations

But where there is life, there are lemons. Wild deviations occur from the above timeline (for better or worse) and (sometimes) for reasons you have very little control over.

If you start your education late, regardless of the reason, it can feel like you’re constantly playing catch-up.
The war uprooted your life, forcing you to start over in a new country with nothing but the clothes on your back.
A medical emergency can steal years from your life, leaving you with a mountain of medical debt.

Bad deviation is a tragedy. If you are falling behind on the timeline for any reason, you will just wanna catchup.

Maybe you got your dream job, but you have no love life.
Maybe you are facing a layoff, have limited savings & expecting a child.

Bad deviations make you lose confidence in yourself irrespective of, whether it was circumstance or your own short comings.

Good deviation is an adventure. If you are ahead of the timeline, the timeline is just a rat race that you look down upon.

Maybe that startup venture didn’t work out, but you’re back to a good job.
Maybe you’re a youtube millionaire & can retire at 30.

Good deviations build confidence & (sometimes) an inflated sense of self.

Would you trade places ?

So would you trade your deviation to someone else’s ?

I didn’t have a clear answer to this question for a long time. Then, a conversation with a friend my age who appeared to have it all figured out helped me see things more clearly.

We were both 26. Yet, she had 2 more years of work experience than me. Impressed, I confessed my envy. Yep, I was sad about “not having worked” more for my age. Silly me.

We had a hearty conversation and turned out she had to start early due to circumstance, and not by choice. As we conversed and got to know the nuances and decisions that shaped our journey, the admiration for the other’s path was evident by the smiles and chuckles.

By the end of the conversation, we certainly realized the beauty of our respective paths. I was still envious of her to some extent, but it wasn’t pinching anymore.

The more people you meet, and hear their life story you will realize how its never black & white. Rightly said, the devil is indeed, in the details.

Are you really the age you say ?

How old are you ? Subtract birth year from current year, and you get your answer. That is your chronological age, but what about your biological age ?

Science says some people maybe biologically older than they are, while some maybe younger than their chronological age.

How do we make sense of the above idea ? That’s the neat part. We don’t.

While science can continue to identify what factors accelerate aging so we can slow it down (someday). What’s equally important is how old we feel.

You may have observed with some people, that they don’t exactly align with their age expectations.

I remember this person I met at a meetup. We were playing “Guess my age” and everyone underestimated his age by 3-4 years. The person was in his 30s, in good shape and he brought so much energy to everything that he just felt young & it didn’t matter what his actual age was.

And that’s all that matters I guess, that you having a good time, 14 or 40. No ?

Age as a badge of pride

I think the obsession with age started with these magazine lists :

25 under 25
30 under 30
40 under 40

These lists tie age to success and productivity too tightly. Probably another marketing stunt by companies to convince younger folks to over-work. Maybe that’s why the list stops at 40, cause people beyond that will soon retire ?

The other place you see age flaunted is when people share milestones.

I founded my company at the age of 25.
I started to code when I was 11.
How I became a millionaire at 27.

While there is nothing wrong in sharing about your work, passion or hobby. Introducing age into coversation, (especially when no one asked for it) makes any milestones mentioned comparable providing environment for envy to surface.

I think, that adds negatively to the conversation & hence should be avoided.

The creator culture has especially brought in this FOMO by mentioning how they did x at y age, and so can you, if you buy their course. Hehe.