Best Practices For Life

What has worked for me so far ...

1. What you allow, you encourage.

And thus, if there is anything you dont want to happen more of, and you have some agency on the matter, take a hard stand to discourage it.

  • Colleagues not respecting boundaries ?
  • Partner not being supportive ?
  • Kid running around in public places ?
  1. Explicitly communicate that you do not like this behaviour (yes, even to the kid).
  2. Reason with the people involved and try to bargain.
  3. Express your dis-approval in case of an unfavorable outcome.

2. Infer, instead of accepting at face value.

Consider the case : Someone says they value punctuality but are late to meetings every time.

❌ Accepting Mindset : Here, instead of questioning the person’s punuctuality. people try to come up with reasons for his/her late arrival.

  • Maybe they got stuck with something.
  • Maybe they are having a bad day.

âś… Inference Mindset : Here, each person is a blank slate no matter how many times they chant they are punctual. It is only after multiple observations of the behaviour that the person is thought to be punctual.

  • They arrive late on multiple occasions, maybe they aren’t punctual.
  • They arrive on time mostly, maybe they are punctual.

This can also be used for introspection. Do you say you like reading books ? Have you read any book in the last 3 or 6 months ? No ? Then, maybe you should stop saying so.

3. Stop suffering in your imagination.

We suffer more in imagination than in reality.

Seneca said this. And it couldn’t be more true. It basically means worry realistically.

So … Below are some thumb of rules for you ! Just follow these !!

  • Stop imagining alternates timelines of your past.

    What’s done is done. And whats’s done may feel stupid because you are smarter today 🤞 than you were yesterday. So that’s a good thing.

  • Stop imagining Ifs and Buts for your future.

    Prepare for rainy days but don’t overthink your future. And definitely don’t solution for problems that don’t exist yet. Leave some problems for your future self.

Learn to recognise when your thoughts segway into imaginary sufferings & say or do something else. Sing a song, repeat a phrase or have ice cream. Just stop imagining terrible things. Don’t worry it is human nature to do this.